What You Didn’t Know About Female Ejaculation

During a recent episode of “Californication,” Hank Moody (David Duchovny) runs into a woman he had a one-night-stand with. She’s beautiful and he can’t recall why he didn’t pursue her. Yet, he is vaguely aware of something unpleasant that happened between them. They end up having another sexual encounter anyway. And as the night reaches its climax, Hank remembers why he never called her back: she’s a squirter.

That episode presented a rare acknowledgment of female ejaculation in pop culture—and it was a negative one. “Sex and the City” did bring it up (during Samantha’s lesbian “phase,” in itself somewhat offensive), but it was played for laughs—not education. These few pop-culture representations of this very-normal, rarely-acknowledged sexual fact, seem to illustrate that many people would rather not think about it—and hardly anyone actually does it.

But that’s far from the truth. We asked sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a fellow at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida, and Crystal Rivers (who’s made a career talking about and doing the deed), to shed some light on this issue.

It’s Definitely Not Urine

“The fluid emitted at orgasm is likely more similar in consistency, smell, appearance, and texture, to seminal fluid,” says Dr. Needle. “Therefore, women who are worried that they are urinating when they are producing fluid during arousal or orgasm, should be reassured that it is a perfectly healthy, hygienic, and a normal response to sexual stimulation.

“It’s important for women who do ejaculate to not feel badly and worried that they might be urinating,” Dr. Needle adds. “This can inhibit a woman and will certainly make it more difficult for a woman to enjoy her sexuality.”

It’s Still a Mystery

References to squirting have appeared, vaguely, in literature and science texts over the centuries. Yet, there’s still very little known about female ejaculation.

“Female ejaculation has been a topic of debate for more than 50 years,” says Dr. Needle. “Those who have both studied and observed the emission of fluid during ejaculation have linked female ejaculate to the Skene’s glands, which has been referred to as the female prostate. Why one women emits fluid, or more fluid, at orgasm while others do not, has been speculated to be a result of fundamental anatomical differences among women.”

It’s Not a Lubricant

“As far as we know, the fluids emitted at orgasm do not have any lubricating significance,” says Dr. Needle. “Also, more lubrication is not equivalent to greater orgasmic intensity or pleasure, and emitting a fluid is not sufficient evidence for greater arousal or more pleasure.”

Ejaculation can also vary in volume—ranging from a barely noticeable trickle to a full-blown outpour of fluid.

It Can Be Pleasurable for Both Men and Women

“I rarely encounter men who are indifferent to it,” says Rivers. ”Either they love it, or they hate it. I find it interesting to note the types of men who fall into those categories. Once a guy has experienced being with a squirter, they are usually sold on it. The ones that have had no experience with it at all are usually skeptical or somewhat repulsed by the idea—convinced that female ejaculate is really just urine. But, I usually set the record straight for them.

It’s Not Necessarily the “Ultimate Orgasm”

“Popular media implies that orgasms accompanied by ejaculation are more intense and thus more enjoyable,” says Dr. Needle. “However, there is no evidence that an ejaculatory orgasm is necessarily indicative of greater or lesser sexual response. Therefore, there is no reason why women should feel inadequate if they do not ejaculate. Significant differences exist between women in regard to arousal and their own awareness of it. Most women do not ejaculate with orgasm. However, many women do.”

It Can Be Learned

“I found out about squirting when I was about 20 years old,” says Rivers. ”It honestly didn’t take me that long to learn after I started trying.”

Some popular techniques include: stimulating the G-spot with varying levels of pressure and speed; varying the position of your body during stimulation; and surrendering to the urge to urinate … since you are most likely about to ejaculate instead, rather than pee. “The most important hurdle is realizing that you can do it,” says Rivers.